Hi! It is raining today and the thunder woke you up earlier, but the rain should get rid of some the pollen in the air. You seem to have allergies already, and I am so sorry. I’ve only had them for about 4 years and if you have them already, Spring won’t be so much fun for you.
You were sick a couple of weeks ago. You caught a cold from your cousins, Nathan and Kaden. Fortunately it wasn’t too bad and it didn’t last for very long. The first morning of your cold when you woke up, it was about 6:30 and you weren’t able to breathe very well. Daddy gave you a blessing and blessed you to get well quickly without many problems. I propped up the mattress in your crib so that you could breathe easier.
You have started giving wonderful kisses to me. Perhaps it is because I give you so many that you instinctively know how to give them back to me. You are so sweet. You are becoming more and more vocal all of the time. There aren’t any words that you know how to say but you do enjoy jabbering.
Daddy is finishing off another semester at BYU. He hasn’t enjoyed this one all that much and is glad to get it behind him. He will be taking classes throughout the summer which he isn’t all that excited about either, but he will graduate one year from now. Yaaaaa!
We are told that our new house will be ready on May 12, but possibly sooner. We are hoping at least for May 4 when our interest rate lock will expire. They are just finishing painting this week and the cupboards will go in next.
I was sick with some kind of flu bug this week. I wasn’t throwing up or anything but just ached all over. It wasn’t so easy taking care of you, but you were so good and patient with me. Thanks for being such a wonderful little girl.
Wednesday, March 29, 2000
You laughed. We were at a dinner at King’s home on Sunday afternoon. We were waiting for Dallin, Donna and Angela to arrive and Kaden was entertaining you by laughing nonstop. All of a sudden you started laughing too. It was so cute. You didn’t know quite what to think of this new sound coming out of your mouth and were sometimes on the verge of crying. I wish that we could have videotaped it, but I am sure that we will have other opportunities.
All of my brothers and my sister were together on Sunday except for Shane. We had a dinner and then sat around and talked afterwards. Everyone thinks that you are such a wonderful baby because you don’t cry very much. I agree; you are wonderful. You do have your moments of crying and tears, especially in the evening, but that’s normal for all babies.
Your daddy and I sure do love you. We love having you in our home and being able to teach you and watch you grow. You do so many cute things and are patient with us.
I am beginning to pack up some things before we move. I am glad that I have this much time because it gives me a chance to “spring clean” and get rid of those things that we no longer use. Dad and I went through our closets on Saturday and took out all of the things we no longer wear. Kevin and Candace, Dallin, Mitch, Susan, and Karra all came over to take a look and probably took 2/3 of the stuff away. We are going to take the rest to D.I. (Deseret Industries).
The weather is finally spring-like and so wonderful. We will take more walks outside now that it is nicer. We usually walk around the Park Ridge Development.
All of my brothers and my sister were together on Sunday except for Shane. We had a dinner and then sat around and talked afterwards. Everyone thinks that you are such a wonderful baby because you don’t cry very much. I agree; you are wonderful. You do have your moments of crying and tears, especially in the evening, but that’s normal for all babies.
Your daddy and I sure do love you. We love having you in our home and being able to teach you and watch you grow. You do so many cute things and are patient with us.
I am beginning to pack up some things before we move. I am glad that I have this much time because it gives me a chance to “spring clean” and get rid of those things that we no longer use. Dad and I went through our closets on Saturday and took out all of the things we no longer wear. Kevin and Candace, Dallin, Mitch, Susan, and Karra all came over to take a look and probably took 2/3 of the stuff away. We are going to take the rest to D.I. (Deseret Industries).
The weather is finally spring-like and so wonderful. We will take more walks outside now that it is nicer. We usually walk around the Park Ridge Development.
Thursday, March 23, 2000
You love to sit up and see the world. Lying down just doesn’t cut it anymore. If you are lying down you will try to lift your head and shoulders up, unfortunately for you but fortunately for me, you are not strong enough yet. If Dad or I hold onto your hands and pull you up, you sit up so easily.
We went shopping with Donna, Angela, Susan, Kaden and Nathan yesterday. I think we spent about 4 hours at the mall, looking around and walking. We had lunch there as well and you even took two separate naps. I think I wore you out. When I took you home, you were asleep in no time.
Daddy called and asked us to join him for dinner at Los Hermanos. He was having dinner with his group from work, so back into your car seat. Not your favorite thing. You cried a bit but there’s not much I can do when I am driving. You were asleep by the time we reached the restaurant though that didn’t last for long.
You are sleeping so well at night. Usually you go to sleep before 9:30 pm and sleep until 6:45 am. Daylight savings time will mess up your schedule a bit though in a couple of weeks when we have to move our clocks forward.
We went shopping with Donna, Angela, Susan, Kaden and Nathan yesterday. I think we spent about 4 hours at the mall, looking around and walking. We had lunch there as well and you even took two separate naps. I think I wore you out. When I took you home, you were asleep in no time.
Daddy called and asked us to join him for dinner at Los Hermanos. He was having dinner with his group from work, so back into your car seat. Not your favorite thing. You cried a bit but there’s not much I can do when I am driving. You were asleep by the time we reached the restaurant though that didn’t last for long.
You are sleeping so well at night. Usually you go to sleep before 9:30 pm and sleep until 6:45 am. Daylight savings time will mess up your schedule a bit though in a couple of weeks when we have to move our clocks forward.
Tuesday, March 21, 2000
Becky looked beautiful on both her wedding day and again this weekend for her second reception. Chris’ parents flew in on Friday afternoon for the reception on Saturday night. They stayed with Kevin and Candace since they have a spare bedroom that isn’t filled with as much junk as ours.
Our spare room seems to be the catch-all for boxes that we are saving for our move or for toys that you play with. We spend most of our time in there during the day since it is warmer than downstairs and rather comfy.
Dallin and family arrived in Utah early Friday morning. They drove all night long and got to Donna’s parent’s house around 5 am. I guess Angela had thrown up around 4 am and they were more than anxious to get her into a bathtub. Eww!
Our spare room seems to be the catch-all for boxes that we are saving for our move or for toys that you play with. We spend most of our time in there during the day since it is warmer than downstairs and rather comfy.
Dallin and family arrived in Utah early Friday morning. They drove all night long and got to Donna’s parent’s house around 5 am. I guess Angela had thrown up around 4 am and they were more than anxious to get her into a bathtub. Eww!
Wednesday, March 15, 2000
We are back at home after a whirlwind weekend away. We left for Portland last Thursday after Chris arrived home from work. The weather was nasty up to the Point of the Mountain with snow falling fast and furiously. As we drove into the Salt Lake Valley, both the skies and the roads cleared up and made the trip so much more pleasant. Our flight was scheduled for 8:30 pm and we arrived at the airport after parking at Park ‘n Fly around 7:45. We weren’t too worried since we knew we would be able to pre-board with you.
You were pretty good on the flight. Your eyes bugged open during the take-off with the loudness of the engines and the different feeling of taking off. You cried a bit, but I had a bottle handy and soon you were fast asleep. You woke for the landing, which must have hurt your ears because you cried very loudly. Again, I gave you a bottle and the sucking and swallowing seemed to help.
The return flight to Utah wasn’t quite so hard on you and I find that’s the same for me. My ears always feel weird when I land in Portland. I imagine it is because it is so close to sea level.
Your schedule was rather messed up over the weekend but still you did so well. People wanted to hold you and I know that after awhile it gets to be too much for you. You didn’t get to bed early any of the nights that we were gone and certainly made up for the lost sleep once we got home.
We went to church in Vancouver with Chris’ parents on Sunday morning—Sacrament Meeting only actually—and then left to go see Dallin and family. We headed to the coast with a picnic lunch and had a fun day. Our flight on Monday morning left before 8:00 am so we were up early. We had rented a car for the weekend so it was nice that we didn’t have to inconvenience anyone with such an early schedule.
You were pretty good on the flight. Your eyes bugged open during the take-off with the loudness of the engines and the different feeling of taking off. You cried a bit, but I had a bottle handy and soon you were fast asleep. You woke for the landing, which must have hurt your ears because you cried very loudly. Again, I gave you a bottle and the sucking and swallowing seemed to help.
The return flight to Utah wasn’t quite so hard on you and I find that’s the same for me. My ears always feel weird when I land in Portland. I imagine it is because it is so close to sea level.
Your schedule was rather messed up over the weekend but still you did so well. People wanted to hold you and I know that after awhile it gets to be too much for you. You didn’t get to bed early any of the nights that we were gone and certainly made up for the lost sleep once we got home.
We went to church in Vancouver with Chris’ parents on Sunday morning—Sacrament Meeting only actually—and then left to go see Dallin and family. We headed to the coast with a picnic lunch and had a fun day. Our flight on Monday morning left before 8:00 am so we were up early. We had rented a car for the weekend so it was nice that we didn’t have to inconvenience anyone with such an early schedule.
Wednesday, March 01, 2000
Last Tuesday, I told Monica from D.O.T.S. that I would not be coming back to work full-time, but that I would be willing to do some occasional work from home. I haven’t heard back from her yet. On Wednesday, I took you to see the people I used to work with at D.O.T.S. and they all thought you were wonderful. In fact, the people in Data Entry have nicknamed you Amy Adorable. I think it is cute and fits you well.
We are flying to Portland in a week and a half for your Aunt Becky’s wedding. She is getting married in the Portland temple on March 11th to Kyle Bake. I hope that you will enjoy the flight and that you won’t cry much. Grandpa Kline will also be in Portland at that time. I hope that we will be able to also see my brother, Dallin, and his family while we are there, but if not, they will be in Utah the week following for Spring Break.
We are flying to Portland in a week and a half for your Aunt Becky’s wedding. She is getting married in the Portland temple on March 11th to Kyle Bake. I hope that you will enjoy the flight and that you won’t cry much. Grandpa Kline will also be in Portland at that time. I hope that we will be able to also see my brother, Dallin, and his family while we are there, but if not, they will be in Utah the week following for Spring Break.
Monday, February 28, 2000
Well, lots of things have happened since I last wrote. On the 16th I took you in for your 2 month check-up. You are off the charts in your weight and height. You already weigh 13 lbs 14 oz. and are 24 ½ inches in length. You are outgrowing your clothes so quickly and are already wearing 3 to 6 month sizes. You have the chubbiest cheeks that are so much fun to kiss.
We blessed you on Sunday the 20th and most of our family was here to share in your special day. Chris’ Mom and Dad flew in on Friday afternoon and were anxious to see their first grandchild. My mom and dad left Stirling around noon on Friday, drove to Rexburg to pick up Mitch and arrived at Brad’s house in Salt Lake City around midnight. They took time to go shopping on Saturday morning and then went for lunch at Susan’s around 1 pm. They didn’t come to see you until around 6 pm. You and I did happen to run into my mom while we were out shopping on Saturday morning. She was happy to see you but wanted to keep on shopping.
You were pretty fussy on Saturday because of all the new people wanting to hold you and passing you around. I wasn’t holding you too much since everyone else was so excited to see you. You were a lot happier on Sunday after a good night’s rest.
We blessed you at the church on Sunday afternoon and had a dinner afterwards. The following people attended your blessing: Kevin and Candance, Becky and Kyle, Grandma and Grandpa Ball, Jenni and Lori, Susan, Karra and Jenna, Brad, Mitch, Grandma and Grandpa Rice, Rick and Virginia Johnson (the Elder’s Quorum President and my Visiting Teaching Companion) and Brother Bohn from the bishopric.
You slept through the blessing and woke up just as daddy said “Amen”. Some of the ideas mentioned in your blessing were intelligence, leadership, friendship, missionary work, love of family, blessings of the gospel, and temple marriage. It was a beautiful day.
Daddy went skiing with Kevin, Lori, and Jenni on Monday since it was a holiday and he got the day off from work. I stayed home with you and Dad and Brad came to visit and then Mitch. We didn’t go over to Susan’s at all during the weekend because there was still a chance the Nathan would get chicken pox. (He never did get them).
Balls flew home on Monday night. My parents went back to Salt Lake on Tuesday morning to attend a funeral of one of Mom’s cousins in Bountiful. They left for home on Wednesday morning.
Sad news about our house. It was sold last week. We were given our deposits back, which they tell us we were lucky to get. Chris and I were trying so hard to have faith that this was supposed to happen but still we were both very sad. This was Thursday.
Friday afternoon while I was home cleaning, I received a phone call from a Patrick Mattson. He had seen the “For Rent” and “For Sale” signs in our windows and wondered if he could look at our house. He was right outside. He loved our house and brought his wife back to look a couple of hours later. They have decided that they want to buy our house and are checking on being pre-approved for our assumable FHA loan. It is amazing to us that this happened one day after our house sale fell through. One week earlier and we could have moved into the house. Now we will have to wait a couple of months before our new townhouse is finished. We do believe that this is all meant to happen though it has been rather disheartening.
Mitch came to Provo for the weekend on Friday night. Brad had a date so Chris and I drove to Sandy to pick Mitch up. He had originally planned to go home for the weekend, but there was a blizzard in Montana and the interstate was closed. Mitch had received his mission call on Friday night and wanted to be able to open it with family.
We arrived back in Provo around 9:45 and Brad and Maureen arrived shortly thereafter. Mitch has been called to serve in the Helsinki, Finland mission and will enter the MTC on May 24th. Wow! That’s probably one of the hardest languages to learn.
On Saturday morning, Chris and I went and looked at what is still available and still to be built in the fourth phase of the Park Ridge project. The one home that we would like and that will be ready the soonest has already been sold. The real estate agent said he would call the young man who is purchasing the home and ask if he would be willing to trade for a home being built later since he will be gone most of the summer. We haven’t heard back yet.
Mitch babysat you while Dad and I went to the temple on Saturday night. We hadn’t been for awhile and it was so good to be back. We need to make an effort to attend more often. We certainly can use the spiritual uplift and any added blessings it might bring.
On Sunday, we went to the missionary homecoming of Chris’ mission president. They were returning from another mission as an Executive Secretary to the Area Presidency of the South Pacific I believe. Chris was excited to see them and to show off his beautiful daughter.
We headed to Brad’s in Salt Lake afterward to have lunch and drop Mitch off. Brad didn’t know we were coming but we brought leftover pizza to share. He had his own leftover pizza so we had plenty.
You are growing so quickly. You smile so beautifully all of the time now. You are especially happy in the morning and the smiles are ever abundant. You are able to grab for things and you concentrate so deeply as you try to grasp your toys. Your eyes are beginning to change colors. One is more brown than the other, but both eyes are still predominantly a very dark blue color. You love to take baths.
We blessed you on Sunday the 20th and most of our family was here to share in your special day. Chris’ Mom and Dad flew in on Friday afternoon and were anxious to see their first grandchild. My mom and dad left Stirling around noon on Friday, drove to Rexburg to pick up Mitch and arrived at Brad’s house in Salt Lake City around midnight. They took time to go shopping on Saturday morning and then went for lunch at Susan’s around 1 pm. They didn’t come to see you until around 6 pm. You and I did happen to run into my mom while we were out shopping on Saturday morning. She was happy to see you but wanted to keep on shopping.
You were pretty fussy on Saturday because of all the new people wanting to hold you and passing you around. I wasn’t holding you too much since everyone else was so excited to see you. You were a lot happier on Sunday after a good night’s rest.
We blessed you at the church on Sunday afternoon and had a dinner afterwards. The following people attended your blessing: Kevin and Candance, Becky and Kyle, Grandma and Grandpa Ball, Jenni and Lori, Susan, Karra and Jenna, Brad, Mitch, Grandma and Grandpa Rice, Rick and Virginia Johnson (the Elder’s Quorum President and my Visiting Teaching Companion) and Brother Bohn from the bishopric.
You slept through the blessing and woke up just as daddy said “Amen”. Some of the ideas mentioned in your blessing were intelligence, leadership, friendship, missionary work, love of family, blessings of the gospel, and temple marriage. It was a beautiful day.
Daddy went skiing with Kevin, Lori, and Jenni on Monday since it was a holiday and he got the day off from work. I stayed home with you and Dad and Brad came to visit and then Mitch. We didn’t go over to Susan’s at all during the weekend because there was still a chance the Nathan would get chicken pox. (He never did get them).
Balls flew home on Monday night. My parents went back to Salt Lake on Tuesday morning to attend a funeral of one of Mom’s cousins in Bountiful. They left for home on Wednesday morning.
Sad news about our house. It was sold last week. We were given our deposits back, which they tell us we were lucky to get. Chris and I were trying so hard to have faith that this was supposed to happen but still we were both very sad. This was Thursday.
Friday afternoon while I was home cleaning, I received a phone call from a Patrick Mattson. He had seen the “For Rent” and “For Sale” signs in our windows and wondered if he could look at our house. He was right outside. He loved our house and brought his wife back to look a couple of hours later. They have decided that they want to buy our house and are checking on being pre-approved for our assumable FHA loan. It is amazing to us that this happened one day after our house sale fell through. One week earlier and we could have moved into the house. Now we will have to wait a couple of months before our new townhouse is finished. We do believe that this is all meant to happen though it has been rather disheartening.
Mitch came to Provo for the weekend on Friday night. Brad had a date so Chris and I drove to Sandy to pick Mitch up. He had originally planned to go home for the weekend, but there was a blizzard in Montana and the interstate was closed. Mitch had received his mission call on Friday night and wanted to be able to open it with family.
We arrived back in Provo around 9:45 and Brad and Maureen arrived shortly thereafter. Mitch has been called to serve in the Helsinki, Finland mission and will enter the MTC on May 24th. Wow! That’s probably one of the hardest languages to learn.
On Saturday morning, Chris and I went and looked at what is still available and still to be built in the fourth phase of the Park Ridge project. The one home that we would like and that will be ready the soonest has already been sold. The real estate agent said he would call the young man who is purchasing the home and ask if he would be willing to trade for a home being built later since he will be gone most of the summer. We haven’t heard back yet.
Mitch babysat you while Dad and I went to the temple on Saturday night. We hadn’t been for awhile and it was so good to be back. We need to make an effort to attend more often. We certainly can use the spiritual uplift and any added blessings it might bring.
On Sunday, we went to the missionary homecoming of Chris’ mission president. They were returning from another mission as an Executive Secretary to the Area Presidency of the South Pacific I believe. Chris was excited to see them and to show off his beautiful daughter.
We headed to Brad’s in Salt Lake afterward to have lunch and drop Mitch off. Brad didn’t know we were coming but we brought leftover pizza to share. He had his own leftover pizza so we had plenty.
You are growing so quickly. You smile so beautifully all of the time now. You are especially happy in the morning and the smiles are ever abundant. You are able to grab for things and you concentrate so deeply as you try to grasp your toys. Your eyes are beginning to change colors. One is more brown than the other, but both eyes are still predominantly a very dark blue color. You love to take baths.
Wednesday, February 10, 2000
It is a rather rainy day today, but that’s so much better than snow. Susan called me a little while ago, crying and so upset. They were in Idaho visiting Carson’s parents last weekend and Nathan was exposed to chicken pox by one family of cousins. They didn’t find out until now even though the cousins were still contagious then. Karra, Jenna, and Kaden already had chicken pox so it is not a problem for them. Nathan will likely be sick next weekend when we plan to bless you and when all of our family will be here. You and I were over at their house yesterday. Unless Nathan breaks out in the next day or so, you should be all right. I hope, I hope, I hope.
Georgetown, the developer, gave us an ultimatum last week to close on our new townhouse or they would sell it to someone else. We have scheduled a closing for tomorrow at 3:30 pm, but as of right now we haven’t rented our home. So, it doesn’t look like we will be moving. Chris and I are so disappointed. It is hard to understand why it was so right for us to put money on a house way back in June of ’99 and now everything seems to be falling apart. We asked our families to fast for us last Sunday, and we have tried to do all that we can to advertise. For some reason it is not right for us to purchase this house now. We haven’t decided what direction we will move in from here but perhaps we will check in to buying a home.
Georgetown, the developer, gave us an ultimatum last week to close on our new townhouse or they would sell it to someone else. We have scheduled a closing for tomorrow at 3:30 pm, but as of right now we haven’t rented our home. So, it doesn’t look like we will be moving. Chris and I are so disappointed. It is hard to understand why it was so right for us to put money on a house way back in June of ’99 and now everything seems to be falling apart. We asked our families to fast for us last Sunday, and we have tried to do all that we can to advertise. For some reason it is not right for us to purchase this house now. We haven’t decided what direction we will move in from here but perhaps we will check in to buying a home.
Wednesday, February 02, 2000
We still have not found renters for our house and so we continue to wait to move. Two single girls came to look at our apartment on Monday night and showed real interest, but we have not heard from them since. There is another lady who is supposed to be flying in from Arizona this afternoon to look at our house and others, but she has two cats and I am very leary of having cats in my house. You can never really get that smell and all the hair out once they are gone. We keep having faith that we will be able to rent soon, but do get frustrated at times.
Once we do move though, you will be in your own room. I am not sure how you will like that, but I think you will sleep better because we won’t be making noise around you so often.
I have started exercising in the morning while you are still sleeping. I look forward to being able to take you for walks in the morning when the weather is warmer. It is amazing how much better my attitude is after I exercise and throughout the rest of the day. I tape a tv exercise program each day so that if you happen to wake up at that time, I can still exercise later.
Your sleeping habits are becoming even better. You still go to sleep between 10 and 11 pm, but you now sleep until 5 or 5:30 am. Yeah! I go to sleep just as soon as you do and am not quite so tired in the morning when you first wake up. You have been going right back to sleep after I feed and change you and sleep normally until 8 or 8:30. Then you go back to sleep about an hour later for usually 3 hours. You are so wonderful.
Sunday, January 23, 2000
Yesterday was my birthday. Susan offered to watch you while Daddy and I went out on a date. We had originally planned to go see a movie and have dinner together, but we were late getting to the restaurant and were not able to make it to the movie. Instead we went to play miniature golf. Your dad beat me for the first time. He was quite pleased with himself. We played on an outdoor course because the indoor course was packed and so it was rather chilly. We stopped at the Village Inn afterward for hot chocolate and pie. It was nice to be together and talk and enjoy each other. I missed you but I also knew that you were being well taken care of.
A sweet lady in our ward-Camille Chipman-called on Friday and offered to babysit for us since she saw in the ward bulletin that it was my birthday. She has five children, her youngest five months old, and all were born via c-section. I am amazed at the kindness of the people in our ward and will be sad to leave them when we move. I am also amazed at the kindness of women who are mothers who understand the challenges of motherhood and caring for an infant. Some days I have felt alone in my experiences, but when I talk to other moms, I am pleasantly surprised to find out that my feelings are normal and characteristic of this time in my life.
Mitch is visiting for the weekend. He is staying at Susan’s and should be returning to Rexburg tonight, I think. We dropped him and his friend, Jen, off at her aunt’s house last night and that is why we were running a bit late and missed the movie. I don’t mind though, because golf gave us a chance to talk. We had dinner at Brick Oven, which is my favorite Italian restaurant. I always get the pasta bar because I can put as much sauce on my pasta as I want. Most places don’t give you enough.
I have had some wonderful moments with you as we sit and rock and talk. I like to sing to you, and though I am not the greatest singer, you seem to enjoy it most of the time as well. I usually sing hymns to you and some seem to have an even more special meaning now that I am a mom. Two in particular come to mind. The first is “Abide With Me” (Hymn 166). The last verse reads:
I need thy presence every passing hour.
What but thy grace can foil the tempter’s power?
Who, like thyself, my guide and stay can be?
Thru cloud and sunshine, Lord, abide with me.
I do need him every day. I could not take care of you if I knew that I was doing this on my own. I know that there are angels surrounding us throughout the day who help and comfort both of us.
The other song that brought tears to my eyes is one that I would have never correlated with being a mom. I heard it last Sunday on “The Spoken Word” on tv and was amazed by the message whispered to my heart as I held you in my arms.
I’ll Go Where You Want Me to Go
It may not be on a mountain height
Or over the stormy sea,
It may not be at the battle’s front
My Lord will have need of me.
But if, by a still, small voice he calls
To paths that I do not know
I’ll answer dear Lord, with my hand in thine:
I’ll go where you want me to go.
Perhaps today there are loving words
Which Jesus would have me speak;
There may be now in the paths of sin
Some wanderer whom I should seek.
O Savior, if thou wilt be my guide,
Tho dark and rugged the way,
My voice shall echo the message sweet:
I’ll say what you want me to say.
There’s surely somewhere a lowly place
In earth’s harvest fields so wide
Where I may labor through life’s short day
For Jesus, the Crucified.
So trusting my all to thy tender care,
And knowing thou lovest me,
I’ll do thy will with a heart sincere:
I’ll be what you want me to be.
Chorus
I’ll go where you want me to go, dear Lord,
Over mountains or plain or sea;
I’ll say what you want me to say, dear Lord,
I’ll be what you want me to be.
For me, this song seemed to be such an anthem for motherhood, though it is usually sung at mission farewells. It is not at work where I can do the most good in this world (It may not be on a mountain height), but within the walls of my own home, teaching you, guiding you, and helping you to know the Savior. I have had plenty of experience mothering with my own younger brothers as they were born into our family and grew, as well as with Susan’s children. Even my babysitting experiences helped me (To paths that I do not know), but to be a mom to my own daughter is completely different, and I am learning all of the time.
I feel very confident that I am to stay at home (I’ll go where you want me to go) and be your mom. Some days I miss the challenge and interaction of working with my peers, but I would miss you more. “Perhaps today there are loving words, which Jesus would have me speak”. There are so many children in this world who rarely hear kind words such as “I love you” or who are not taught about Jesus, about life, or even the ABCs. I feel strongly that I can teach you so much and already you show that you are able to learn. In fact, when you were two days old, you showed the beginnings of your intelligence capacity. I stuck out my tongue at you and you did it right back. I am teaching you the ABCs, 1,2,3,4,5, all about your face and hands, primary songs and church hymns. Right now you listen with real intent and someday you will surprise me.
I try to read scriptures to you along with other books and if you are not tired and fussy you sit and listen. When I glance from the words to your face you have a large grin on your face. You smile so wonderfully and so often and I love it. And you too.
A sweet lady in our ward-Camille Chipman-called on Friday and offered to babysit for us since she saw in the ward bulletin that it was my birthday. She has five children, her youngest five months old, and all were born via c-section. I am amazed at the kindness of the people in our ward and will be sad to leave them when we move. I am also amazed at the kindness of women who are mothers who understand the challenges of motherhood and caring for an infant. Some days I have felt alone in my experiences, but when I talk to other moms, I am pleasantly surprised to find out that my feelings are normal and characteristic of this time in my life.
Mitch is visiting for the weekend. He is staying at Susan’s and should be returning to Rexburg tonight, I think. We dropped him and his friend, Jen, off at her aunt’s house last night and that is why we were running a bit late and missed the movie. I don’t mind though, because golf gave us a chance to talk. We had dinner at Brick Oven, which is my favorite Italian restaurant. I always get the pasta bar because I can put as much sauce on my pasta as I want. Most places don’t give you enough.
I have had some wonderful moments with you as we sit and rock and talk. I like to sing to you, and though I am not the greatest singer, you seem to enjoy it most of the time as well. I usually sing hymns to you and some seem to have an even more special meaning now that I am a mom. Two in particular come to mind. The first is “Abide With Me” (Hymn 166). The last verse reads:
I need thy presence every passing hour.
What but thy grace can foil the tempter’s power?
Who, like thyself, my guide and stay can be?
Thru cloud and sunshine, Lord, abide with me.
I do need him every day. I could not take care of you if I knew that I was doing this on my own. I know that there are angels surrounding us throughout the day who help and comfort both of us.
The other song that brought tears to my eyes is one that I would have never correlated with being a mom. I heard it last Sunday on “The Spoken Word” on tv and was amazed by the message whispered to my heart as I held you in my arms.
I’ll Go Where You Want Me to Go
It may not be on a mountain height
Or over the stormy sea,
It may not be at the battle’s front
My Lord will have need of me.
But if, by a still, small voice he calls
To paths that I do not know
I’ll answer dear Lord, with my hand in thine:
I’ll go where you want me to go.
Perhaps today there are loving words
Which Jesus would have me speak;
There may be now in the paths of sin
Some wanderer whom I should seek.
O Savior, if thou wilt be my guide,
Tho dark and rugged the way,
My voice shall echo the message sweet:
I’ll say what you want me to say.
There’s surely somewhere a lowly place
In earth’s harvest fields so wide
Where I may labor through life’s short day
For Jesus, the Crucified.
So trusting my all to thy tender care,
And knowing thou lovest me,
I’ll do thy will with a heart sincere:
I’ll be what you want me to be.
Chorus
I’ll go where you want me to go, dear Lord,
Over mountains or plain or sea;
I’ll say what you want me to say, dear Lord,
I’ll be what you want me to be.
For me, this song seemed to be such an anthem for motherhood, though it is usually sung at mission farewells. It is not at work where I can do the most good in this world (It may not be on a mountain height), but within the walls of my own home, teaching you, guiding you, and helping you to know the Savior. I have had plenty of experience mothering with my own younger brothers as they were born into our family and grew, as well as with Susan’s children. Even my babysitting experiences helped me (To paths that I do not know), but to be a mom to my own daughter is completely different, and I am learning all of the time.
I feel very confident that I am to stay at home (I’ll go where you want me to go) and be your mom. Some days I miss the challenge and interaction of working with my peers, but I would miss you more. “Perhaps today there are loving words, which Jesus would have me speak”. There are so many children in this world who rarely hear kind words such as “I love you” or who are not taught about Jesus, about life, or even the ABCs. I feel strongly that I can teach you so much and already you show that you are able to learn. In fact, when you were two days old, you showed the beginnings of your intelligence capacity. I stuck out my tongue at you and you did it right back. I am teaching you the ABCs, 1,2,3,4,5, all about your face and hands, primary songs and church hymns. Right now you listen with real intent and someday you will surprise me.
I try to read scriptures to you along with other books and if you are not tired and fussy you sit and listen. When I glance from the words to your face you have a large grin on your face. You smile so wonderfully and so often and I love it. And you too.
Wednesday, 19 January, 2000
You have had a nasty rash on your face for the past week. It started with a few pimples here and there, then moved to your ears, and became progressively worse. Your ears were so bad that they were quite swollen. It makes me feel so bad that you have had to experience this and that your face looks so painful. You have been really good about it though and rub your face and ears with your fist only occasionally. I took you to the doctor last Friday and he prescribed some cortisone cream for your ears but said not to put it on your face because you could easily rub it into your eyes. We have just had to let the rash run its course. Dr. Berry said that it is probably due to the dryness of the air, but I also think that you might be allergic to fabric softener dryer sheets. I have stopped using them and hope that your rash goes away.
While we were at the doctor’s office, the nurse, Jennifer, weighed you. I was amazed that you already tip the scales at 12 pounds. No wonder my back hurts so much all of the time. You have already gained half your body weight. You have a double chin and rolls of fat on your legs and arms. At least you aren’t lacking in food and seem to be healthy.
I also weighed myself while at the doctors and was pleasantly surprised to see that I have lost all of the weight I gained while pregnant and hope to be able to continue losing weight over the next couple of months as you continue to nurse.
You are getting more of a routine. Most nights you go to bed around 10 or 10:30 and sleep until about 3 or 3:30. Some days you wake up a bit earlier, and others, like this morning, later—4:30 am. Then I can usually count on you waking up between 6 and 7. We have started giving you a bath before you go to bed and it works wonders at calming you and helping you to sleep, and sleep longer. I usually run a tub full of water and get in and Daddy hands you to me. You love the water. You haven’t learned yet to splash, but I am sure that too will come.
You have started to notice more things. We have some colorful rings that you haven’t bothered much with until today. This morning you were batting them with your hands. It is fun to see the changes happening.
While we were at the doctor’s office, the nurse, Jennifer, weighed you. I was amazed that you already tip the scales at 12 pounds. No wonder my back hurts so much all of the time. You have already gained half your body weight. You have a double chin and rolls of fat on your legs and arms. At least you aren’t lacking in food and seem to be healthy.
I also weighed myself while at the doctors and was pleasantly surprised to see that I have lost all of the weight I gained while pregnant and hope to be able to continue losing weight over the next couple of months as you continue to nurse.
You are getting more of a routine. Most nights you go to bed around 10 or 10:30 and sleep until about 3 or 3:30. Some days you wake up a bit earlier, and others, like this morning, later—4:30 am. Then I can usually count on you waking up between 6 and 7. We have started giving you a bath before you go to bed and it works wonders at calming you and helping you to sleep, and sleep longer. I usually run a tub full of water and get in and Daddy hands you to me. You love the water. You haven’t learned yet to splash, but I am sure that too will come.
You have started to notice more things. We have some colorful rings that you haven’t bothered much with until today. This morning you were batting them with your hands. It is fun to see the changes happening.
Friday, 07 January, 2000
This morning I dressed you in the same sleeper outfit that we brought you home from the hospital in and it is fitting so much better. You are obviously growing and your cheeks are getting pudgier all the time.
The past month of life with you has had its ups and downs. Sometimes you are a perfect little angel and sleep wonderfully through the day and night and the next day you simply refuse to go to sleep whatsoever. You do seem to be getting onto a schedule at night though which is wonderful for me. You have been going to sleep around 10 pm, waking up between 2 and 3 am, going back to sleep without any fuss and sleeping till 6 or 6:30 am. I still get tired, but it’s not as bad as it was.
When we first brought you home, you woke up so much more during the day and night, and I finally figured out that you were cold. So now you wear heavier jammies and sleep in a different bed where the sides are completely enclosed. I was grateful that it was a rather easy solution.
Yesterday, I took you to Aunt Susan’s so that I could get a bit of exercise. Everyone there loves you and will gladly sit and hold you for hours. Karra, who is 10, hopes that she can babysit you in the future.
The past month of life with you has had its ups and downs. Sometimes you are a perfect little angel and sleep wonderfully through the day and night and the next day you simply refuse to go to sleep whatsoever. You do seem to be getting onto a schedule at night though which is wonderful for me. You have been going to sleep around 10 pm, waking up between 2 and 3 am, going back to sleep without any fuss and sleeping till 6 or 6:30 am. I still get tired, but it’s not as bad as it was.
When we first brought you home, you woke up so much more during the day and night, and I finally figured out that you were cold. So now you wear heavier jammies and sleep in a different bed where the sides are completely enclosed. I was grateful that it was a rather easy solution.
Yesterday, I took you to Aunt Susan’s so that I could get a bit of exercise. Everyone there loves you and will gladly sit and hold you for hours. Karra, who is 10, hopes that she can babysit you in the future.
Thursday, 6 January, 2000
The nurses got me out of bed later in the day on the 12th. It hurt immensely, but I found it to be key in my recovery. The longer I stayed in bed, the more stiff and sore I became. I tried to walk around the hospital floor a couple of times a day thereafter. We began to have visitors on the 12th. Susan and her family, Kevin and Candace, and my visiting teacher, Nancy Henderson.
I had a shower on the 13th and it felt wonderful. There was a bench in the shower that I sat on while Chris helped me. I just let the hot water pour over me. I eventually got out of the shower but it was a slow process.
You slept wonderfully the first two nights of your life and then the third night you had it pretty rough. I would feed you, you would sleep for a little while and then you were awake and crying. The nurse kept bringing you to me, and I was so exhausted. Chris slept at the hospital for the first three nights and didn’t get much sleep either on the third night. I finally convinced him to go home around 4 am so that he could get a couple of hours of uninterrupted sleep. We finally gave you some formula in a bottle and you went to sleep. You must have been so hungry, and I just didn’t have enough milk yet to satisfy you.
We stayed in the hospital until Tuesday night, December 14th, around 8 or 9 pm. We could have stayed until 3 in the morning, but that didn’t seem like a great idea. The clothes that I had brought for you were much too big, but we bundled you up and took you home regardless.
I had a shower on the 13th and it felt wonderful. There was a bench in the shower that I sat on while Chris helped me. I just let the hot water pour over me. I eventually got out of the shower but it was a slow process.
You slept wonderfully the first two nights of your life and then the third night you had it pretty rough. I would feed you, you would sleep for a little while and then you were awake and crying. The nurse kept bringing you to me, and I was so exhausted. Chris slept at the hospital for the first three nights and didn’t get much sleep either on the third night. I finally convinced him to go home around 4 am so that he could get a couple of hours of uninterrupted sleep. We finally gave you some formula in a bottle and you went to sleep. You must have been so hungry, and I just didn’t have enough milk yet to satisfy you.
We stayed in the hospital until Tuesday night, December 14th, around 8 or 9 pm. We could have stayed until 3 in the morning, but that didn’t seem like a great idea. The clothes that I had brought for you were much too big, but we bundled you up and took you home regardless.
Wednesday, 22 December, 1999
The past couple of weeks have been rather eventful for all of us in the Kline household. I had originally planned to work until Thursday, December 9th however on Monday the 6th I was feeling very nauseated at work and had diarrhea, I left work early and that ended up being my last day.
I had a doctor’s appointment on the 6th at 4:30 pm and the unfortunate news was that I wasn’t dilated at all and my cervix was not effaced. Disappointing to say the least. I hadn’t really had any contractions though some cramping. Dr. Woodmansee set up an appointment for a non-stress test on Friday the 10th at the hospital to make sure that everything was all right with me and you.
For the rest of the week, I pretty much rested on the couch. I decided that it was a good idea for me to be home (especially now that I am sooooo tired).
I went to the hospital for the non-stress test (NST) on Friday morning at 9 am fully expecting that I would spend the rest of the day running errands and walking at the mall. The test results, however, were rather questionable and the perinatologist who looked at the test immediately called my doctor. My amniotic fluid was low and your heart rate went down during a contraction (I didn’t know that I was even having them). Dr. Woodmansee was out of town for the entire weekend and so his associate, Dr. Berry, was contacted. He talked with the technician who did the test and then asked to speak with me. He basically recommended that I be admitted to the hospital immediately for induction. I was definitely not expecting this. Dr. Woodmansee had talked about inducing me on the 14th but Dr. Berry said it would be risky for us to wait.
So, I was checked in to room 515 in labor and delivery and a small pill was inserted next to my cervix to stimulate its softening and encourage dilation. That was around 10 am. I called Chris as soon as I was in the room to let him know what was happening. I was kind of scared since I was not prepared for this to happen today. We both decided it was just as well for him to stay at work for awhile since all I would be doing at the hospital was lying in bed. I didn’t have my hospital bag or anything at all with me except a magazine I had brought to read during the non-stress test.
I watched tv for all of the morning and into the afternoon. There wasn’t that great of a selection but it helped to pass the time. Another pill was inserted about 3 pm and Chris arrived close to that time as well. By then I was beginning to have some contractions that felt a lot like cramps--it was a pain that I couldn’t really escape from no matter how I moved. Unfortunately I was not dilating though my cervix had begun to thin some.
Chris was a great distraction from the pain and helped me by softly massaging my hand. As the day progressed the contractions became more uncomfortable. Another pill was inserted next to my cervix around 7 pm and thankfully that was the last. I was having some pretty good contractions at this point but still no dilation.
I had not eaten since breakfast and was only allowed ice chips. I was so hungry. I asked if I could have something to eat and the nurses said they would call Dr. Berry and ask. I had also been confined to bed with all the wires attached to me and was only able to get up to go to the bathroom. That was a pain since I had to unhook everything. Dr. Berry relented to me being out of bed to walk around for 20 minutes and no more. He didn’t want me to be off of the monitors for any extended period of time without being able to keep track of your heart rate. The contractions were still pretty intense but it felt good to get off of my side and stretch a bit.
After pestering the nurses for food for most of the afternoon, Chris finally brought me some pineapple, grapes and yogurt. It tasted wonderful. He also went and got me some ginger ale from Macey’s to help with my upset stomach. Unfortunately for him I think I only took two or three sips and then took the Pepto Bismol the nurse had offered me previously.
My day nurse was probably in her late 50s and was not all that sociable, but when the night shift came on, Monica was my nurse, and she was great.
Since I had driven my car to the hospital and Chris had his there as well, he called his brother Kevin to help him transport my car home. While they were gone, Monica brought me some supper. Again, it was so wonderful. I had instant mashed potatoes, squash, juice, and pudding but left the chicken fried steak.
Susan and your cousin Jenna dropped by on their way to the grocery store to bring their video camera for us to use. I remember that my contractions were really intense at this point and Susan was great at helping me relax through them.
Monica was somewhat concerned about your heart rate in relation to my contractions since it wasn’t responding the way it should. She called Dr. Berry and he dropped by around 10 or 11 pm. At this point, I was only a little more than 1 cm dilated though my contractions were pretty strong. There was no need to start the pitocin (a contraction enhancing drug) but my lack of progress was a concern.
Dr. Berry let me have an epidural at this time and the anesthesiologist was there in no time. It was not the most comfortable procedure, but I felt so much better afterward. My body basically was numb from my chest down to my toes. I still had some movement, which was good.
Chris and I tried to sleep at this point. Around 1 am I felt my water break. I had Chris call the nurse. When they arrived, I had leaked all over the floor and my bedding. Monica and another nurse set about to clean me up. Unfortunately, there was meconium in the fluid that meant you had already had your first bowel movement. This is also a rather serious situation because it is likely that the meconium is ingested into your lungs. An IV of amniotic-like fluid was inserted into my uterus to keep the levels up. More tubes were attached to me and you to more accurately chart your heart rate and my contractions. A catheter was inserted in to my bladder, which thankfully removed the need to urinate. Thank heavens for an epidural since I didn’t feel any of these insertions, but would have been in a lot of pain if I had.
After being cleaned up, I remember just falling asleep again when Dr. Berry, Monica and another doctor came in to my room. It was about 2:30 am on Saturday morning. Dr. Berry and Dr. Wold, a surgeon, had been looking at the printout of my contractions with your heart rate and were extremely concerned. You were showing signs of distress. They kindly explained the problem and suggested that we need to get you out as soon as possible, and a cesarean was the only way. We agreed and preparations began. The anesthesiologist returned to increase the dosage of my epidural for the surgery.
I, however, began to experience shock. I had not been prepared to have a baby today in the first place, and now I was going in to surgery. As I look back on this day, I have realized since then that I was not really fully aware of the seriousness of our situation. The fact that I was admitted soon after my non-stress test was just the beginning. The doctors and nurses were great about not causing me undue alarm, but were carefully monitoring our progress, or lack thereof, the entire day. Thus the need for surgery came as somewhat of a surprise and shock to both Chris and I.
Can I stop and tell you how much I love your father and the wonderful man that he is? Though he wasn’t feeling the pain, I knew his heart was breaking for me watching me experience your birth. I remember, as I was being prepared for surgery and feeling rather scared, that he was right by my side holding my hand. I asked him for a blessing and he in turn asked the nurse if there was someone who could help him and who had consecrated oil (his vial had broken off his key chain the week previous). Within minutes, another man appeared in our room to assist with the blessing. I looked up at your father and saw tears rolling down his cheeks. I quickly looked away knowing that if I didn’t, I, too, would be crying.
The blessing was pronounced upon my head, and I was told that I would be at peace, that my feelings of shock would subside, and that this experience would have a positive outcome. Similar to the time this last summer when I went in to shock after seeing Angela fall down the stairs when we were in Canada, I again felt my body relax and become calm. I still had the shivers and felt cold, but no longer worried about the next couple of minutes.
Chris put on a white jumpsuit for the surgery as well as a mask, hair net and booties. I wish that I could have had a picture of him. The surgical suite was just down the hall from my room and I was quickly wheeled in.
I still had enough movement in my legs to help the nurses transfer me from my bed to the operating table. Once there, I remember that Monica shaved my tummy where the incision was to be made and applied betadine, I think, to sterilize me. I also remember watching her in the reflection of the lights tying my legs together with towels or something.
The anesthesiologist stood by my head and placed warmed-up IV bags on either side of my head. They felt so wonderful as I was still shaking (a normal reaction to an epidural). Then I heard Dr. Berry ask me if I could feel him pinching me. I said no. Chris stood up to watch and said that I was already cut open. I couldn’t believe it had happened so fast. As the doctors cut through to my uterus, I heard them both say “Oh my” and the first thing that popped out was your umbilical cord. That was the problem (or at least one of them). It was on top of your head and if I had gone through with a normal delivery it would have been the first thing to come through the birth canal. And then I still probably would have had to have a c-section. The contractions would have squeezed off the flow of blood through the umbilical cord within a matter of minutes, leaving you without any blood.
Within minutes you were pulled out of my tummy. You didn’t cry right away as I strained to listen for you but were quickly whisked away to an adjoining room by a neonatologist to have your lungs vacuumed to remove all traces of the meconium. Chris looked at me as if asking me if I wanted him to stay. I told him to go with you and he was able to video tape your first moments of life. Finally I heard you cry. The first thing the nurses said was how beautiful you were.
I lay on the operating table, somewhat out of it, when Christopher walked up beside me holding you in his arms. You were wrapped up in a tight little bundle with a little cap on your head. Chris put your face next to mine, and I kissed you. I couldn’t do much more since my hands were tied down as well.
Things get a little blurry here for me, but I do remember still being in the operating room where the doctors removed the placenta and began to stitch me up. Their conversation, ironically enough, was about Dr. Woodmansee and where he was. I guess he was in Chicago baptizing a girl whom he had met the year previous on a cruise. Supposedly there was some love interest there as well. The doctors joked with the one nurse who was single and why she didn’t just ask Dr. Woodmansee to marry her. The doctors also clarified your time of birth. The surgery was started at 3:10 am and Amy Christine Kline was born at 3:16 am.
In no time at all, I was back in room 515 for recovery and observation. I think I was there for about 45 minutes to an hour. My blood pressure was taken every couple of minutes. Everything seemed to be fine.
Since I was doing quite well, I was transferred down one floor to the maternity floor, room 432, and it was there that I first held you in my arms. I had already been awake for so long that I wasn’t about to go to sleep without seeing you first. It was about 5 am. You were completely cleaned up and the nurses had bathed you, combed your hair, curled it and stuck a purple bow on your head.
I may have been somewhat out of things still but I did know that I was so in love with you and your beautiful little face. Your dad and I sat and looked at you and marveled at the miracle of your life. Because you didn’t have to come out of the birth canal, your head was perfectly shaped, not oblong as some baby’s heads are.
My epidural began to wear off so I asked for some pain medication. I think they gave me a shot of demerol in my hip, but it didn’t seem to do much for the pain. After that, I asked for pills, percoset, and they worked very well. I stayed on them every three hours for the next couple of days. I had a 5 to 6 inch incision in my stomach that was closed by about 15 staples. Wow, the pain was amazing.
Things get a little fuzzy for me here and I don't remember all of the details so well. I know that I slept some, but I also remember calling my parents. They were thrilled by your arrival but shocked that I had had a cesarean. They could hear your cute little baby sounds. We called the rest of our family throughout the day, but I don’t remember much of it.
I had a doctor’s appointment on the 6th at 4:30 pm and the unfortunate news was that I wasn’t dilated at all and my cervix was not effaced. Disappointing to say the least. I hadn’t really had any contractions though some cramping. Dr. Woodmansee set up an appointment for a non-stress test on Friday the 10th at the hospital to make sure that everything was all right with me and you.
For the rest of the week, I pretty much rested on the couch. I decided that it was a good idea for me to be home (especially now that I am sooooo tired).
I went to the hospital for the non-stress test (NST) on Friday morning at 9 am fully expecting that I would spend the rest of the day running errands and walking at the mall. The test results, however, were rather questionable and the perinatologist who looked at the test immediately called my doctor. My amniotic fluid was low and your heart rate went down during a contraction (I didn’t know that I was even having them). Dr. Woodmansee was out of town for the entire weekend and so his associate, Dr. Berry, was contacted. He talked with the technician who did the test and then asked to speak with me. He basically recommended that I be admitted to the hospital immediately for induction. I was definitely not expecting this. Dr. Woodmansee had talked about inducing me on the 14th but Dr. Berry said it would be risky for us to wait.
So, I was checked in to room 515 in labor and delivery and a small pill was inserted next to my cervix to stimulate its softening and encourage dilation. That was around 10 am. I called Chris as soon as I was in the room to let him know what was happening. I was kind of scared since I was not prepared for this to happen today. We both decided it was just as well for him to stay at work for awhile since all I would be doing at the hospital was lying in bed. I didn’t have my hospital bag or anything at all with me except a magazine I had brought to read during the non-stress test.
I watched tv for all of the morning and into the afternoon. There wasn’t that great of a selection but it helped to pass the time. Another pill was inserted about 3 pm and Chris arrived close to that time as well. By then I was beginning to have some contractions that felt a lot like cramps--it was a pain that I couldn’t really escape from no matter how I moved. Unfortunately I was not dilating though my cervix had begun to thin some.
Chris was a great distraction from the pain and helped me by softly massaging my hand. As the day progressed the contractions became more uncomfortable. Another pill was inserted next to my cervix around 7 pm and thankfully that was the last. I was having some pretty good contractions at this point but still no dilation.
I had not eaten since breakfast and was only allowed ice chips. I was so hungry. I asked if I could have something to eat and the nurses said they would call Dr. Berry and ask. I had also been confined to bed with all the wires attached to me and was only able to get up to go to the bathroom. That was a pain since I had to unhook everything. Dr. Berry relented to me being out of bed to walk around for 20 minutes and no more. He didn’t want me to be off of the monitors for any extended period of time without being able to keep track of your heart rate. The contractions were still pretty intense but it felt good to get off of my side and stretch a bit.
After pestering the nurses for food for most of the afternoon, Chris finally brought me some pineapple, grapes and yogurt. It tasted wonderful. He also went and got me some ginger ale from Macey’s to help with my upset stomach. Unfortunately for him I think I only took two or three sips and then took the Pepto Bismol the nurse had offered me previously.
My day nurse was probably in her late 50s and was not all that sociable, but when the night shift came on, Monica was my nurse, and she was great.
Since I had driven my car to the hospital and Chris had his there as well, he called his brother Kevin to help him transport my car home. While they were gone, Monica brought me some supper. Again, it was so wonderful. I had instant mashed potatoes, squash, juice, and pudding but left the chicken fried steak.
Susan and your cousin Jenna dropped by on their way to the grocery store to bring their video camera for us to use. I remember that my contractions were really intense at this point and Susan was great at helping me relax through them.
Monica was somewhat concerned about your heart rate in relation to my contractions since it wasn’t responding the way it should. She called Dr. Berry and he dropped by around 10 or 11 pm. At this point, I was only a little more than 1 cm dilated though my contractions were pretty strong. There was no need to start the pitocin (a contraction enhancing drug) but my lack of progress was a concern.
Dr. Berry let me have an epidural at this time and the anesthesiologist was there in no time. It was not the most comfortable procedure, but I felt so much better afterward. My body basically was numb from my chest down to my toes. I still had some movement, which was good.
Chris and I tried to sleep at this point. Around 1 am I felt my water break. I had Chris call the nurse. When they arrived, I had leaked all over the floor and my bedding. Monica and another nurse set about to clean me up. Unfortunately, there was meconium in the fluid that meant you had already had your first bowel movement. This is also a rather serious situation because it is likely that the meconium is ingested into your lungs. An IV of amniotic-like fluid was inserted into my uterus to keep the levels up. More tubes were attached to me and you to more accurately chart your heart rate and my contractions. A catheter was inserted in to my bladder, which thankfully removed the need to urinate. Thank heavens for an epidural since I didn’t feel any of these insertions, but would have been in a lot of pain if I had.
After being cleaned up, I remember just falling asleep again when Dr. Berry, Monica and another doctor came in to my room. It was about 2:30 am on Saturday morning. Dr. Berry and Dr. Wold, a surgeon, had been looking at the printout of my contractions with your heart rate and were extremely concerned. You were showing signs of distress. They kindly explained the problem and suggested that we need to get you out as soon as possible, and a cesarean was the only way. We agreed and preparations began. The anesthesiologist returned to increase the dosage of my epidural for the surgery.
I, however, began to experience shock. I had not been prepared to have a baby today in the first place, and now I was going in to surgery. As I look back on this day, I have realized since then that I was not really fully aware of the seriousness of our situation. The fact that I was admitted soon after my non-stress test was just the beginning. The doctors and nurses were great about not causing me undue alarm, but were carefully monitoring our progress, or lack thereof, the entire day. Thus the need for surgery came as somewhat of a surprise and shock to both Chris and I.
Can I stop and tell you how much I love your father and the wonderful man that he is? Though he wasn’t feeling the pain, I knew his heart was breaking for me watching me experience your birth. I remember, as I was being prepared for surgery and feeling rather scared, that he was right by my side holding my hand. I asked him for a blessing and he in turn asked the nurse if there was someone who could help him and who had consecrated oil (his vial had broken off his key chain the week previous). Within minutes, another man appeared in our room to assist with the blessing. I looked up at your father and saw tears rolling down his cheeks. I quickly looked away knowing that if I didn’t, I, too, would be crying.
The blessing was pronounced upon my head, and I was told that I would be at peace, that my feelings of shock would subside, and that this experience would have a positive outcome. Similar to the time this last summer when I went in to shock after seeing Angela fall down the stairs when we were in Canada, I again felt my body relax and become calm. I still had the shivers and felt cold, but no longer worried about the next couple of minutes.
Chris put on a white jumpsuit for the surgery as well as a mask, hair net and booties. I wish that I could have had a picture of him. The surgical suite was just down the hall from my room and I was quickly wheeled in.
I still had enough movement in my legs to help the nurses transfer me from my bed to the operating table. Once there, I remember that Monica shaved my tummy where the incision was to be made and applied betadine, I think, to sterilize me. I also remember watching her in the reflection of the lights tying my legs together with towels or something.
The anesthesiologist stood by my head and placed warmed-up IV bags on either side of my head. They felt so wonderful as I was still shaking (a normal reaction to an epidural). Then I heard Dr. Berry ask me if I could feel him pinching me. I said no. Chris stood up to watch and said that I was already cut open. I couldn’t believe it had happened so fast. As the doctors cut through to my uterus, I heard them both say “Oh my” and the first thing that popped out was your umbilical cord. That was the problem (or at least one of them). It was on top of your head and if I had gone through with a normal delivery it would have been the first thing to come through the birth canal. And then I still probably would have had to have a c-section. The contractions would have squeezed off the flow of blood through the umbilical cord within a matter of minutes, leaving you without any blood.
Within minutes you were pulled out of my tummy. You didn’t cry right away as I strained to listen for you but were quickly whisked away to an adjoining room by a neonatologist to have your lungs vacuumed to remove all traces of the meconium. Chris looked at me as if asking me if I wanted him to stay. I told him to go with you and he was able to video tape your first moments of life. Finally I heard you cry. The first thing the nurses said was how beautiful you were.
I lay on the operating table, somewhat out of it, when Christopher walked up beside me holding you in his arms. You were wrapped up in a tight little bundle with a little cap on your head. Chris put your face next to mine, and I kissed you. I couldn’t do much more since my hands were tied down as well.
Things get a little blurry here for me, but I do remember still being in the operating room where the doctors removed the placenta and began to stitch me up. Their conversation, ironically enough, was about Dr. Woodmansee and where he was. I guess he was in Chicago baptizing a girl whom he had met the year previous on a cruise. Supposedly there was some love interest there as well. The doctors joked with the one nurse who was single and why she didn’t just ask Dr. Woodmansee to marry her. The doctors also clarified your time of birth. The surgery was started at 3:10 am and Amy Christine Kline was born at 3:16 am.
In no time at all, I was back in room 515 for recovery and observation. I think I was there for about 45 minutes to an hour. My blood pressure was taken every couple of minutes. Everything seemed to be fine.
Since I was doing quite well, I was transferred down one floor to the maternity floor, room 432, and it was there that I first held you in my arms. I had already been awake for so long that I wasn’t about to go to sleep without seeing you first. It was about 5 am. You were completely cleaned up and the nurses had bathed you, combed your hair, curled it and stuck a purple bow on your head.
I may have been somewhat out of things still but I did know that I was so in love with you and your beautiful little face. Your dad and I sat and looked at you and marveled at the miracle of your life. Because you didn’t have to come out of the birth canal, your head was perfectly shaped, not oblong as some baby’s heads are.
My epidural began to wear off so I asked for some pain medication. I think they gave me a shot of demerol in my hip, but it didn’t seem to do much for the pain. After that, I asked for pills, percoset, and they worked very well. I stayed on them every three hours for the next couple of days. I had a 5 to 6 inch incision in my stomach that was closed by about 15 staples. Wow, the pain was amazing.
Things get a little fuzzy for me here and I don't remember all of the details so well. I know that I slept some, but I also remember calling my parents. They were thrilled by your arrival but shocked that I had had a cesarean. They could hear your cute little baby sounds. We called the rest of our family throughout the day, but I don’t remember much of it.
Friday, December 03, 1999
We had our first big snow of the season last night. I woke up quite a few times during the night and could hear the wind howling outside. The roads weren’t too bad this morning until I got on to some of the secondary roads. There is such an extreme between the overly cautious drivers and the crazy drivers. I do my best to be a careful driver, but I worry about all the dingbats driving around me who don’t know what they are doing.
Thursday, December 02, 1999
Less than a week now if you were to actually come on your due date. I am still at work and trying to get as much done as possible. My department had a surprise lunch for me yesterday which was so thoughtful. They gave you some very cute gifts. We’ll have to take lots of pictures so that you can see all of the cute clothes that you now have.
I went to my doctor’s appointment on Monday and found out pretty much what I expected to hear. No dilation yet, but my cervix has started to soften or efface. That’s progress in my mind because it all has to happen. I don’t really count on you coming early because I don’t feel much happening. Every once in a while I feel twinges and cramping, but I think I have yet to experience a contraction. You dropped further down into my pelvis about two weeks ago. It is rather obvious, especially to those who haven’t seen me for awhile.
We put up your cradle over Thanksgiving as well as the Christmas Tree. I think we are mostly ready for you.
Thanksgiving was pretty quiet for us. On Thursday, we went over to Aunt Maureen’s for dinner. Brad came as well. We each provided a part of the dinner so it wasn’t so much work for one person. After dinner I stayed at Maureen’s to rest and Chris, Brad, and Maureen went to the new James Bond movie, “The World is not Enough.” Brad stayed at our house that night and went shopping with us on Friday. We bought a La-Z-Boy recliner rocker at RC Willey in anticipation of your arrival. It arrived on Saturday morning and our living room is rather crowded now with the new chair and the Christmas tree. The chair is rather comfy for me, but I don’t like to sit on it right now in fear of my water breaking all over it.
I went to my doctor’s appointment on Monday and found out pretty much what I expected to hear. No dilation yet, but my cervix has started to soften or efface. That’s progress in my mind because it all has to happen. I don’t really count on you coming early because I don’t feel much happening. Every once in a while I feel twinges and cramping, but I think I have yet to experience a contraction. You dropped further down into my pelvis about two weeks ago. It is rather obvious, especially to those who haven’t seen me for awhile.
We put up your cradle over Thanksgiving as well as the Christmas Tree. I think we are mostly ready for you.
Thanksgiving was pretty quiet for us. On Thursday, we went over to Aunt Maureen’s for dinner. Brad came as well. We each provided a part of the dinner so it wasn’t so much work for one person. After dinner I stayed at Maureen’s to rest and Chris, Brad, and Maureen went to the new James Bond movie, “The World is not Enough.” Brad stayed at our house that night and went shopping with us on Friday. We bought a La-Z-Boy recliner rocker at RC Willey in anticipation of your arrival. It arrived on Saturday morning and our living room is rather crowded now with the new chair and the Christmas tree. The chair is rather comfy for me, but I don’t like to sit on it right now in fear of my water breaking all over it.
Friday, November 12, 1999
My doctor’s appointment turned out a bit differently than I had planned. I didn’t have to wait at all for one thing. I was waiting by the bathroom because I have to give a urine sample every time I go, and the nurse, Joy, saw me and said we might as well weigh me and take my blood pressure while I was waiting. After that, Dr. Woodmansee came right in. A big change over last week. You are growing right on schedule. Dr. Berry told me I would come in weekly from now on, but Dr. Woodmansee said I didn’t need to come back for two weeks. And he didn’t check my cervix, but said he would do it next time. I suppose with first-time moms, a doctor knows that they are more likely to be overdue than early or even right on time. Because of the Thanksgiving holiday, it will be about 2 ½ weeks before our next appointment, and by then, it will be just a little more than a week away from my due date.
I slept a lot better last night, but by the time Friday rolls around, I am more than ready for the weekend. I still do a lot at home on Saturday, but the change is important for me.
I told my Manager that I would work until December 9th—I am planning on being overdue—and I just hope that I have the energy to make it. Mornings are getting more difficult, and I am wiped out before I even leave the house.
The weather for November is unseasonable yet wonderful. We have been up in the 60 and 70s for the past couple of weeks. I would love it if it lasted until Christmas, then it can snow all it wants because you and I will just stay home and have a party all our own.
We bought your stroller and car seat last night. We have been waiting for this particular style to come in for a couple of weeks now. It is actually a gift from Grandma Ball, Aunt Lori and Great Grandma Greve and is one of the few baby purchases that Christopher has been excited about and interested in.
Speaking of Christopher, he is enjoying his new job. He has been working at Novell now for two weeks and is able to work around his schedule at school. Right now he is working hard to take all of the Novell certification tests. He has to have these completed before he can actually do his job, which is customer support on the phone. He passed the first two this week, but I am not sure how many more he has yet to take.
I slept a lot better last night, but by the time Friday rolls around, I am more than ready for the weekend. I still do a lot at home on Saturday, but the change is important for me.
I told my Manager that I would work until December 9th—I am planning on being overdue—and I just hope that I have the energy to make it. Mornings are getting more difficult, and I am wiped out before I even leave the house.
The weather for November is unseasonable yet wonderful. We have been up in the 60 and 70s for the past couple of weeks. I would love it if it lasted until Christmas, then it can snow all it wants because you and I will just stay home and have a party all our own.
We bought your stroller and car seat last night. We have been waiting for this particular style to come in for a couple of weeks now. It is actually a gift from Grandma Ball, Aunt Lori and Great Grandma Greve and is one of the few baby purchases that Christopher has been excited about and interested in.
Speaking of Christopher, he is enjoying his new job. He has been working at Novell now for two weeks and is able to work around his schedule at school. Right now he is working hard to take all of the Novell certification tests. He has to have these completed before he can actually do his job, which is customer support on the phone. He passed the first two this week, but I am not sure how many more he has yet to take.
Thursday, November 11, 1999
Am I ever tired today! I didn’t get a great sleep last night, and I don’t think it will improve all that much in the next couple of weeks. I suppose there is something to being too big to get comfortable. I was hoping to work until the first week of next month, but I am not sure that I can make it.
I have a doctor’s appointment this afternoon. Dr. Woodmansee will check to see if I have dilated or effaced at all. I can’t imagine that I have at this point since we still have about four weeks to go. Even if I have, it still wouldn’t be an indication that I would be delivering early. As nice as that would be, I don’t want to get my hopes up.
Chris’ car is in the shop right now. It has been overheating lately and we are hoping that it is not an expensive fix. Cars can be so expensive. We try to take good care of both our cars, but sometimes they just have parts that wear out.
You must have hiccups right now because I can feel this rhythmical movement coming from your living quarters. It feels kind of weird, sort of like a muscle spasm I guess.
I have a doctor’s appointment this afternoon. Dr. Woodmansee will check to see if I have dilated or effaced at all. I can’t imagine that I have at this point since we still have about four weeks to go. Even if I have, it still wouldn’t be an indication that I would be delivering early. As nice as that would be, I don’t want to get my hopes up.
Chris’ car is in the shop right now. It has been overheating lately and we are hoping that it is not an expensive fix. Cars can be so expensive. We try to take good care of both our cars, but sometimes they just have parts that wear out.
You must have hiccups right now because I can feel this rhythmical movement coming from your living quarters. It feels kind of weird, sort of like a muscle spasm I guess.
Monday, 8 November, 1999
Wow! One month to go. It seems forever in getting here, but at the same time, I am not sure that I am ready.
Chris and I spent most of the day on Saturday cleaning house and getting the yard ready for winter. We were both pretty worn out after such a busy day, but it always feels good to accomplish so much. I would suppose that Saturday is the busiest day of the week for me, and I am always grateful for the rest I can have on Sunday. I am also grateful that we both have been taught how to work and that we work so well together.
Chris just received a new calling. I don’t believe that either of us are all that excited about it. He is the new assistant scout master. After having my dad be the scout master for years and years and years, I guess I have grown a little biased against the program. It takes a lot of time away from your family.
When I went to our doctor’s appointment last Wednesday with Dr. Berry, I was kept waiting for over 1 ½ hours. I was not impressed by that and went home in a rather grumpy mood. I actually would have liked Dr. Berry a whole lot more if the circumstances had been different, but even so I would feel comfortable with him delivering you if Dr. Woodmansee wasn’t available. It wasn’t really his fault that I had to wait so long. My bad mood however was a combination of a hectic day at work and probably hormones. Chris mind you wasn’t too pleased. You are growing right on schedule and I now will visit the doctor once a week until I deliver.
Last weekend (Oct. 29-Nov. 1) with Grandma Andrews and Chris’ Dad went pretty well. Chris and I were both worn out physically and mentally by the time Monday rolled around. I suppose it was because we didn’t get a chance to relax much and always felt the need to be entertaining. The weather was wonderful the entire time which made for perfect conditions at the football game on the Saturday. We won!
Chris and his dad worked together on networking our new house, while Grandma Andrews was more than happy to watch tv and retire to bed early along with my schedule.
We had a big pre-Thanksgiving dinner on Sunday after church. Kevin and Candace came as well as Becky and her boyfriend/ ”unofficial fiance” Kyle. It was especially a lot of work for me, but everyone enjoyed themselves.
Chris’ Mom will be coming in two weeks. Fortunately she already has made a lot of plans with Kevin and Becky so we won’t have to do quite as much. She and Chris are going to the football game on Saturday afternoon and probably we will do something together later in the evening.
We were able to get a lot of Christmas shopping done this weekend. I feel the need to have things done early. Who knows if you will come early, but even if you don’t, it will be nice to have things taken care of.
I am not sleeping all that well at night. I usually have to get up at least three or four times just to go to the bathroom. It is usually about every two hours. My hands and legs are rather swollen as I have been retaining water lately. I never realized how much that could or would hurt, that along with the loosening of my joints. I still get up early in the morning to walk and that seems to help a bit. I have been fortunate to have the weather be so good for so long.
Chris and I spent most of the day on Saturday cleaning house and getting the yard ready for winter. We were both pretty worn out after such a busy day, but it always feels good to accomplish so much. I would suppose that Saturday is the busiest day of the week for me, and I am always grateful for the rest I can have on Sunday. I am also grateful that we both have been taught how to work and that we work so well together.
Chris just received a new calling. I don’t believe that either of us are all that excited about it. He is the new assistant scout master. After having my dad be the scout master for years and years and years, I guess I have grown a little biased against the program. It takes a lot of time away from your family.
When I went to our doctor’s appointment last Wednesday with Dr. Berry, I was kept waiting for over 1 ½ hours. I was not impressed by that and went home in a rather grumpy mood. I actually would have liked Dr. Berry a whole lot more if the circumstances had been different, but even so I would feel comfortable with him delivering you if Dr. Woodmansee wasn’t available. It wasn’t really his fault that I had to wait so long. My bad mood however was a combination of a hectic day at work and probably hormones. Chris mind you wasn’t too pleased. You are growing right on schedule and I now will visit the doctor once a week until I deliver.
Last weekend (Oct. 29-Nov. 1) with Grandma Andrews and Chris’ Dad went pretty well. Chris and I were both worn out physically and mentally by the time Monday rolled around. I suppose it was because we didn’t get a chance to relax much and always felt the need to be entertaining. The weather was wonderful the entire time which made for perfect conditions at the football game on the Saturday. We won!
Chris and his dad worked together on networking our new house, while Grandma Andrews was more than happy to watch tv and retire to bed early along with my schedule.
We had a big pre-Thanksgiving dinner on Sunday after church. Kevin and Candace came as well as Becky and her boyfriend/ ”unofficial fiance” Kyle. It was especially a lot of work for me, but everyone enjoyed themselves.
Chris’ Mom will be coming in two weeks. Fortunately she already has made a lot of plans with Kevin and Becky so we won’t have to do quite as much. She and Chris are going to the football game on Saturday afternoon and probably we will do something together later in the evening.
We were able to get a lot of Christmas shopping done this weekend. I feel the need to have things done early. Who knows if you will come early, but even if you don’t, it will be nice to have things taken care of.
I am not sleeping all that well at night. I usually have to get up at least three or four times just to go to the bathroom. It is usually about every two hours. My hands and legs are rather swollen as I have been retaining water lately. I never realized how much that could or would hurt, that along with the loosening of my joints. I still get up early in the morning to walk and that seems to help a bit. I have been fortunate to have the weather be so good for so long.
Thursday, October 28, 1999
It looks as though Fall is on its way. The sky is overcast, and we are supposed to get rain later on today. I was hoping it would stay nice through the weekend for the football game so that Grandma Andrews wouldn’t have to sit outside for four hours in nasty weather. Hopefully it will clear up some for Saturday.
My stomach is getting bigger and bigger all of the time. I think that you are already head down and you seem to like to stick your foot into my ribs. I imagine you are experiencing pretty cramped quarters in there. I try not to walk with that pregnant waddle, but by the time evening rolls around, my body is feeling pretty tired and sore.
I hope to be able to get some Christmas shopping done this weekend while everyone is at the football game. I would like to get it done and out of the way now so that I won’t have to worry about it not getting taken care of.
Our next doctor’s appointment is on November 3rd with Dr. Berry. He is Dr. Woodmansee’s associate. Dr. Woodmansee will be out of the office next week, and I thought it would be a good idea to meet Dr. Berry just in case Dr. Woodmansee is not available when I go into labor.
Our house is coming along quite nicely. We like to check the progress regularly. This week they finished putting in the windows, are getting ready to shingle, and are installing the wiring for electricity and phone. Chris is networking our unit and so special wire will be required for the computer and the phone. The plumbing should also be put in this week as well. Next week they will insulate the walls and then put up sheetrock. They still tell us we won’t be able to move in until the latter part of February, but last time they moved up our move-in date three weeks. It is exciting to see things take shape in such a physical way.
My stomach is getting bigger and bigger all of the time. I think that you are already head down and you seem to like to stick your foot into my ribs. I imagine you are experiencing pretty cramped quarters in there. I try not to walk with that pregnant waddle, but by the time evening rolls around, my body is feeling pretty tired and sore.
I hope to be able to get some Christmas shopping done this weekend while everyone is at the football game. I would like to get it done and out of the way now so that I won’t have to worry about it not getting taken care of.
Our next doctor’s appointment is on November 3rd with Dr. Berry. He is Dr. Woodmansee’s associate. Dr. Woodmansee will be out of the office next week, and I thought it would be a good idea to meet Dr. Berry just in case Dr. Woodmansee is not available when I go into labor.
Our house is coming along quite nicely. We like to check the progress regularly. This week they finished putting in the windows, are getting ready to shingle, and are installing the wiring for electricity and phone. Chris is networking our unit and so special wire will be required for the computer and the phone. The plumbing should also be put in this week as well. Next week they will insulate the walls and then put up sheetrock. They still tell us we won’t be able to move in until the latter part of February, but last time they moved up our move-in date three weeks. It is exciting to see things take shape in such a physical way.
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